I feel personally attacked.

“I feel personally attacked.”

If you don’t know the meme this might be confusing at first.

“I feel personally attacked” is generally a humorous statement of hyperbole, expressed as a meme and attached to images ranging from Pokémon to Greta Thunberg, whenever something, positive or negative, feels too close to home for a reader or viewer. Its ironic use can make it more effective because it serves as a wink and a nudge that you’re taking the criticism or reflection in stride, especially when it wasn’t originally aimed at you.

In the age of political and social radicalization where we live, “I feel personally attacked” is almost an escape. It’s a statement that’s inherently against extremes because it’s often leveraged using a violent term ironically against less extreme ideas, like enjoying buttered crackers as a treat, being a sports super fan, or just wanting a middle-class lifestyle.

I say all of this because there are times I do feel attacked, and sometimes it’s more or less true. I wish it weren’t, but it is. And often it’s by the general laziness and deliberate ignorance ingrained in pop culture.

An example that’s prevalent in every level of culture is the “bumbling dad” trope. The gist is that men are sperm donors and (sometimes) wage earners and not much more. This is exemplified in the character Homer Simpson, although essentially every middle class father in pop culture since The Honeymooners’ Ralph Kramden in the mid ‘50s has been some kind of bumbler. Fathers shown as competent were often cardboard like Ward Cleaver in Leave It To Beaver or too righteous for reality, like Andy Taylor in The Andy Griffith Show.

These characterizations are more harmful the broader they are - especially when they expand from one demographic to an entire class of people, such as dads to all cis-gender males. Trust me when I say that we know we can do some pretty bone-headed stuff. Our 20s are basically built on bad decisions, wherever we might find ourselves in the class structure of Western Civilization after we grow up a bit. That doesn’t mean we should all be lumped in with 13 year old boys on Tik-Tok.

For whatever reason, it’s not hard for me to separate real people from cultural assumptions. For example, I can see where people fall prey to their own convenient stereotypes, especially where they are used to protect bad behavior. When one friend suffers because they have been patient and given a second chance to someone, I don’t blame them for being softhearted or bash the person who is behaving badly. I point out how much better it is to lead a life that lifts people up, shows tough love when needed, and processes even betrayal with a sense of egalitarianism.

“I feel personally attacked” embraces a sense of fun where we are potentially thin skinned or something hits a little close to home rather than bathing in a victimhood that perpetuates cycles of bad behavior and does so by calling out our own sensitivities in self reflection. We should all be able to see where we are too easily hurt and discern those against occasions on which we genuinely need to take a stand for ourselves. And we can do so with the same sense of fun and without going on the offensive.

“I feel personally attacked” can be a mantra for those of us who reject superficial criticism and hypersensitivity in favor of celebrating the interpersonal differences that endear people to us and prove everyone deserving of compassion.